Peachy Christmas
by Danalas the Lady Chaos
Summary: LeAnn, Emmy-chan, and Koni seranade Jareth in the Underground with special Christmas Carol Parodies.


Peachy Christmas

Disclaimer:I don't own Jareth or any of the goblins or Emmy or Koni. Emmy and Koni own themselves. I only own me!! We all worked to write the little parody thingies...

One night, Koni, Emmy-chan, and LeAnn all got drunk on peach fizzy. It was Christmas Eve, and the three were on their way out the door, all bundled up. The only problem was that they were stumbling around and couldn't quite figure out how to get out the door at the same time. "I know," LeAnn said. "We'll call the goblin dudes for help! I wish...I wish...I wish da goblin-dudes would take us to da Undagruund....rrrrrright now!" she said, giggling. And the three landed right outside the castle. "Hey!" Koni said. "While we're here, why don't we seranade Jareth?" she said, with a slight hiccup. Emmy nodded. "Sounds like fun. His Glitterrrrrrrnessssssss could uuussssse *hic* somma...somma dat."

It was then that the three began singing, loudly and offkey, parodies of Christmas carols to fit the Underground. LeAnn started it.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMMMMMMM drrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmminnngggg of a ppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaccccccchhhhh Chrrrrrrishmashhhhh!!!" she sang, then started giggling. Koni had to take over. "Jusht like da ones J usta ssssshhhhhoooooooooooowwwwww! Where da ilushons glishin! And goblin-dudes listen! To hear da curses in da...." She stopped. "In da...in da...." LeAnn giggled and started up again. "Where da goblin's listen ta hear da curses by da t'roooooooooooooone!!!" By then, Emmy was giggling as well. "I like it," she said. "Doh I'm not shure 'is Glitternish will!" With that, the three girls collapsed in the snow, laughing their heads off.

LeAnn zapped Santa hats on all three of them, giggling even harder. "Oh, oh, how 'bout dis'un?" she asked. Then sang again. "Jaret' got run ovah by a raindeeeeeeeerrrrr!!" Koni nodded and took over. "Walkin' 'ome from Sarah's house Christmas Eve!!" LeAnn took ever again. "You can say dere's no such ting as Jaden!! But as fer me an' Spidey, we beeeeeeeeelllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvveeeeeee!!!!!" "No! Wait!" Emmy said. "Dat shood be 'Jaret' got run ovah by a goblin!" The three giggled again, finding this quite hilarious."

Inside, a certain Goblin King was not finding it so funny. The three were making it extremly hard for him to get his beauty rest, which, as we all know, he badly needed. And boy, was His Tightness pissed! Tossing and turning in bed, he slowly plotted on how to get rid of the three insane giggling girls outside his bedroom window so he could get some sleep."

Meanwhile, Koni was singing again. "Deck da halls wit' goblin shtreamersh! Fa la la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaa!! Jaret's in 'is gay apparal! Fa la la la llaaaaaaaaaaa la laaaaaaaaaaa la laaaaaaaaaa! 'Tis da season to eat peachesh! Fa la la la la la la la la lllaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!" "Goblins we have heard on high!" LeAnn sang. Then Emmy finally came up with something. "Crystal balls! Crystal balls! Crystals all da waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!! Oh what fun it is ta ride in a one dwarf open slei-eeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiggggggggh!!!!"

"Away in da Labyrinth....." LeAnn sang, trying to come up with something. Then..."Goblins roastin' on an open fire!!" "Fairies nippin' at your nooooooooooossssshhhhee!" Emmy added. "Eat a peach, eat a peach, eat a peasche!" Koni sang to the tune of _Let It Snow._ Then she started singing to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nose Raindeer.

"Jareth da king of goblinsh! Had some vewy ti-ight cloooooossssssse!! And if you ever shaw 'im! You would just shtare at 'is hoooooooooooosssee!!" Emmy laughed. "Twin! You are in SO much twouble if 'is Glitternish is lishning!!" Koni continued singing anyway. "All of da little goblins! Used ta run away and hide! Dey always ran from Jareth! 'Caush of 'is nashty gamesh!" "That didn't rhyme, Twinny!" Emmy cried out. Though it didn't really matter. LeAnn and Emmy were both laughing hard, and all three were too drunk on peach fizzy to really give a damn. Koni kept on singing.

Den one foggy evnin' tide, Sharah came to shaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!! Jared wit' your hoshe sho tiiiiiiiiiight!!! Won't ya grant my wish toniiiiiiiight!!" That was when LeAnn cut in with her rendition of _Go Tell It On The Mountain._ "Go tell it in da cashell!! Da Underground an' ev'ry wheeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrre!! Go tell it in da cashell dat Jareth's forsaken tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights!!" That was when she began laughing too hard to sing, and Koni went back to her own song. "Den all da lit-tell goblinsh!! 'Ow dey shouted out with gleeeeeeeeeeee!!! Jareth with yore closhe sho tiiiiiiiiight!! You shall go to 'er bed to niiiiiiiiight!!"

That was when the three of them together started in on a new version of _We Wish You A Merry Christmas._ "We wish you fermented peash whine! We whish youfermentad peash whine! Weeeeeeee whish oo demented peash wheeeeeeennnnnnee!! AndadrunkenJareeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddd!!!! Good tidin's to him, to him and 'is gal!!" "SARAH!!" Koni cried out. "Good tidin's ta Jared an' 'is drunk-en cooooooouuuuuuuuurrrrrrtttttt!!"

It was only then that LeAnn remembered a song from home. _Two-step Round The Christmas Tree._ "I'll be sleepin' when Jared comes, but I'll be dancin' 'til 'e doeshhhh!!! Roll back da rugh sho wheeeeeee!!! Can chicken dance 'round da Chrishmash t'reeeeeeeeee!!" LeAnn giggled and began singing something else. "Jared did'ja know dat dis brat-ty girl would turn yore world upside-down!" Emmy laughed. "Lemme guess....Mary did ya know?" she asked. LeAnn nodded in the affirmative, giggling insanely.

"Oh come all ye goblins" LeAnn sang. Then she got a blank look on her face, so Emmy took over. "Shmelly an' repulshive!! Oh come ye oh co-ooooooooome yeeeeeeeeee to daaaaaaa---------aaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaa Boooooooooooooggggg!!!" Emmy then decided to do HER version of _ Go Tell It On The Mountain._ "Go tell it in da Laaaaaaaabb'ryyyyyynt'! Ovah da Booooooooooog an' ev'ry whhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeerrrrreeeee!! Go tell it in da Lab'ryyyyyyyyynt! Da goblin King is booooooooooooorrrrrrreeeeeeeed!!"

LeAnn and Koni both laughed at this before LeAnn started up again. "Up on da roof top da goblinsh paaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuusssssseeeeee!!! Out dumsh goo'ol Jared 'Claaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuussssssssssee!!" Finally the three girls just laughed, rolling around in the snow, not caring that thier santa hats were coming off, or that the snow was soaking them through all their clothes. "Boy are we drrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnk!!" Emmy said. "'Ey" I'm not as tunk as you drink I aaaaaaaammmmmmm!" Koni replied. This send the three into yet another round of giggles."

By this time, of course, Jareth had had it with the bad singing and insane giggling. Not wanting to bother with tossing them all into the Bog of Eternal Stench, he simply cast a sleep spell on them and sent them to their respective homes, making sure they'd all wake up with sunlight streaming into their eyes. His revenge was that they would all have terrible hangovers in the morning. And he also made sure that they would see the crystals nearby as a reminder of what they had done and how much trouble they were in.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is a totally true story. Cross my crystal and hope to fall into an oubliette.

_Finis_


End file.
